Practical tools to understand and support young people
Five practical tools any adult can use: ways to listen, understand needs and plan support together with a young person.
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Practical tools to understand and support young people
Choose a tool that fits the young person and the situation. Each one offers a different way to listen, understand needs and plan support together.
Formal name: Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS), developed by Ross Greene.
What it is. An approach built on a single sentence: "Kids do well if they can." Challenging behaviour is read as a lagging skill or unmet expectation, not defiance. Problems are solved with the young person, not done to them.
How you use it. Three steps, called Plan B by Greene.
- Empathy. Gather information about the young person's view. "I have noticed [observation]. What's up?" Listen without interrupting. Do not propose solutions yet.
- Define adult concerns. Calmly name your concern. "I worry because [reason]." Keep it short and concrete.
- Invitation. Brainstorm together. "How can we work this out so it works for both of us?" The solution has to be realistic for them and address your concern.
All resources, free.
What it is. Five actions backed by evidence, developed for the UK government's Foresight project on Mental Capital and Wellbeing. Designed to be small, regular and accessible. Built on what people already do.
How you use it with a young person. Run a quick check-in. For each of the five, ask "what does this look like for you right now?" Then look at where the energy is alive, and where it has gone quiet. Start where it is alive.
1. Connect
Relationships, communities, groups already in this young person's life.
2. Be active
Sport, dance, walking, the gym. Movement they already choose.
3. Take notice
Attention to the present. Faith, breath, observation, journaling.
4. Keep learning
Reading, gaming, making, asking questions. Curiosity as care.
5. Give
Helping a sibling, volunteering, looking out for friends.
The honest double edge. The same outlet that helps can also become avoidance. Gaming can be both connection and escape. Use the outlet as a foundation for connection, do not police it.
Formal name: The Three Houses, from the Signs of Safety approach.
What it is. A drawing-based tool for hearing a young person's view without interrogation. Originally developed by Nicki Weld and Maggie Greening in New Zealand child protection work. Used widely in UK children's social care and schools.
Who it is for. Three groups in particular.
- Younger children, primary school age, who may not yet have the language for what is going on for them.
- Children who find talking hard, for any reason. Anxious, autistic, low-confidence, recently displaced, mid-distress.
- Any young person you want to hear from without interviewing. The drawing carries the conversation.
How it works in practice. The adult sits with the young person and offers three large sheets of paper, each with a drawn house outline. The young person fills each house in with words, pictures, or whatever they choose. The adult asks the three questions below, one house at a time, and listens to whatever the young person draws or says in response. The adult does not draw for them, and does not correct or interpret.
House of good things
Ask: "What's going well in your life right now? Who and what feels good?"
House of worries
Ask: "What feels heavy? What worries you, big or small?"
House of dreams
Ask: "If today went really well, what would it look like? What do you want next?"
What to do with what the young person shares. Ask their permission before showing the houses to anyone else, including parents. Discuss together what gets shared and what stays private. If action is needed, pair what surfaces with the plain-language script in Chapter 4, so the young person hears what happens next before it happens.
Formal name: Assess, Plan, Do, Review, known as the graduated approach.
What it is. The official four-part cycle, set out in law in the SEND Code of Practice (England) for identifying and meeting a child's needs in stages. A recognised, structured route to act on "something might be undiagnosed", not just notice it.
Assess
Gather information about what the child can and cannot yet do, and what is getting in the way.
Plan
Agree, with the family and the young person, what support to put in place.
Do
Deliver the support. Document what is tried and what changes.
Review
Check progress against the plan. Adjust. Continue, step up the support, or step back.
Where this fits in the toolkit. Use it when behaviour or learning concerns persist. Pair with an explicit note on the racialised referral gap when raising concerns: Black children, and particularly Black girls, are less likely to be referred for assessment.
Formal name: Relationship Circles, an established person-centred thinking tool, adapted here as the family trust map.
Use this activity to help a young person map the people they trust and what they trust each person with.
The rule is simple: do not question or challenge their map. It is information, not an accusation.
Try this today
Choose the step that fits your time, role and situation.
Start now
Before responding to a behaviour, ask yourself: what might this behaviour be telling me?
Spend time together
Use a Three Houses drawing, a trust map or a Five Ways to Wellbeing check-in. Start with what the young person says already helps them.
Plan support together
Where school or service support is needed, use Assess, Plan, Do, Review to agree what will help, who will do what and when progress will be reviewed.