Understanding young people as whole people
Every young person has their own strengths, needs, relationships and experiences. This chapter helps you look beyond one moment or one behaviour, so you can understand what may help.
Five areas to help you understand young people better
Each area offers practical questions, guidance and tools to help you understand what may be happening and what may help.
A young person’s behaviour, mood or energy can be shaped by many parts of their life: school, home, sleep, food, friendships, faith, money, housing and safety.
When you are trying to understand what may be happening, ask with care. Try to understand what is around them without making them feel interviewed.
Poverty, insecure housing and uncertainty can place serious pressure on a young person’s wellbeing. Not knowing where you will be living next month can be deeply unsettling. For neurodivergent children living in temporary housing, pressures can build up and leave families with little energy for anything else.
Before making assumptions, ask:
- Where is this young person sleeping?
- Is there food at home?
- Is the household stable enough this week for homework to be the priority?
- What do I know about their school, home, sleep, friendships, faith and finances?
- What do I not know, and how can I ask without interrogating?
For a fuller approach, see Collaborative and Proactive Solutions in Chapter 7.
Family relationships, culture and community can be important sources of love, strength and support. Young people may still choose different people for different conversations. This does not mean their family has failed them.
Listen without judgement and stay curious about what makes it easier or harder for a young person to talk. This may include who makes the rules at home, differences between parents and young people, wanting to protect a parent from worry, or stress linked to money, housing or other pressures.
Hold both truths. Family support is not always available in the way a young person needs, but families also have knowledge, care and experience that deserve respect. Families told us they want their culture, financial pressures and family circumstances to be understood, not judged.
Some families may find it hard to speak about mental health because of stigma, fear or previous experiences with services. When a young person worries, “What is my auntie going to say?”, they may be naming a real concern about judgement within their family or community.
A mental health struggle is not a flaw or a failure. It can be a sign that more care is needed, sometimes for the young person and sometimes for the adults holding everything around them. Some parents and carers carry stress for so long that it feels normal. Long-term exposure to stress and discrimination can affect health over time. Supporting a young person can also mean recognising when the adults around them need support.
Young people can need support before they have a diagnosis or a label. Notice patterns, listen to the young person and ask what could help now. Schools can begin support while assessments are still being considered.
Black children, and particularly Black girls, may be less likely to be put forward for assessment of learning differences or neurodivergent needs, such as ADHD or autism. Two recognised routes can help adults identify needs and put support in place without waiting for a diagnosis:
- The graduated approach: Assess, Plan, Do, Review. This is the four-part cycle in the SEND Code of Practice. It helps schools identify needs, plan support, try it and review whether it is working.
- A structured check. Schools can carry out a structured check of a child’s social and emotional development. Families can ask whether one has been done and what it found.
When a young person’s needs are missed, they may be seen as a behaviour problem instead of being offered support. Early understanding and practical help can keep young people connected to education and community.
Unmet needs can show up as anger, withdrawal, distress, difficulty concentrating or behaviour that adults find challenging. Without early support, some young people may face exclusion, alternative provision or contact with the youth justice system.
Long waits for specialist assessment and support can make this harder. Waits of more than a year for an Education, Health and Care Plan, known as an EHCP, were a particular concern in the research. Read more in Chapter 15.
For the adult in front of a young person now, the key question is: what is this behaviour telling me, and what support can I put in place now?
Many young people need time alone after a hard day. Music, gaming, cleaning, drawing, making something, sleeping or spending time with an animal can help them feel calmer.
If I'm having a hard time at home, I just want to be alone... doing things that I like doing rather than pressuring myself into doing something that I don't really like doing.Young person, from one of our focus groups
I like cleaning up, folding my clothes and listening to music, because I feel like it just really calms me down.Young person, from one of our focus groups
The key question is whether a young person is choosing something that helps them reset, or whether they are feeling stuck and alone.
A gentle check-in can help: are they doing something they enjoy by themselves, or are they alone because they feel unable to ask for support?
Spending time with animals can help some young people feel calmer too. School trials have measured reduced stress after children spent time with trained dogs, including among children with special educational needs. Pets As Therapy runs visiting teams in schools and community settings, including the Read2Dogs programme.