The five-minute reflective checklist
A short self-check any adult can complete in under five minutes, before a conversation or at the start of the week before interacting with a young person.
The core checklist of reflective questions
Work through these before you sit down with a young person. They are designed to take five minutes or less, and to be returned to often.
Before I work with this young person
- Do I know their name and can I say it correctly? Have I asked them or a guardian how they want it rather than shortened it for my own convenience?
- What do I know about this young person's needs? How can I support their needs to be met?
- Have I checked in on myself today? Am I calm and steady enough to be genuinely present for them?
In how I show up
- Am I responding to this young person, or to my own fear, assumption or perception of them?
- Am I being curious about the reason or cause of their behaviour, or just managing it?
- Have I connected before I corrected? Have I built the relationship, not just delivered the support?
- Have I started from what already helps them rather than from what I want to fix or say?
Before they share anything with me
- Have I been honest in plain words about what I will and will not pass on, and why?
- Am I listening to understand, or listening to respond?
The family five-minute check-in
The same idea, in family form: five questions for a parent or carer at the end of any day.
At home, today
- Have I told them today that my hard day is not about them?
- Did I offer a hug or space, and accept the answer?
- Did I protect their alone time?
- Have we done one thing together this week?
A shorter version, for busy or pressured moments
When five minutes is not realistic, these four questions hold the essentials.
Pocket version, four questions
- Do I know their name, and have I said it correctly today?
- Am I calm and steady enough to be present right now?
- Am I curious about why, or am I managing the behaviour?
- Have I connected before I corrected?